a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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