I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
