Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
