You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
