Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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