There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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