5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
