Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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