They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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