some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
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on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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