just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
