is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
