shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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