names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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