I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
