No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
