Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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