Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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