I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
