it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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