i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
