i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
