Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
