u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
