a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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