just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
