I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
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I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
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I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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