like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize