i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
