it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
