So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
