Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
