so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
