yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize