I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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