my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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