Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
