Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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