He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize