I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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