guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
