I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
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