i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We had to coat check the pizza.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
