five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
