Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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