So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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