I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
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