i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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