and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
