a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
