Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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