Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She bit a glass in half.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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