OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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