If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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