D3 body, D1 cock
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
