remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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