In the future we'll all be gay
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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