I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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