i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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