In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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